We’ll help you get that cushy six figure remote job
Maybe you’re a recent STEM grad who entered the workforce with high hopes after doing everything your Boomer parents said, only to hit a brick wall due to hiring freezes in tech.
Or perhaps you have a liberal arts degree and are making $50k in a semi-skilled clerical role that doesn’t come close to fully utilizing your intelligence, creativity, and work ethic.
In either case you likely envy the guys already established in a STEM field that accommodates remote work, who get paid six figure salaries to send emails in their underwear all day.
The good news is it’s entirely possible in the short-to-medium term for you to seize the juicy corporate sinecure of your wildest dreams. But to accomplish this you’ll need to exercise your Will to Power against Corporate America by deliberately fabricating professional experience on your resume, while simultaneously learning the material you claim to be experienced in.
The Tortuga Society can help you execute this gambit by providing resources that assist mightily with all sides of this equation:
On the fabrication side, we’ll provide GPTs that manufacture concrete examples of data analytics experience for virtually any white collar role, and also provide comprehensive narratives for this experience that you can memorize and speak to during an interview.
On the education side, we’ll give you access to the Buccaneer Bootcamp—a detailed curriculum on the fundamentals of data analytics designed by our venerable education lead Sesped, who boasts significant experience training non-traditional data analysts
On the job hunting side, we’ll offer crucial time-saving resources like an automated job application tool and a central repository of fresh job listings
Then once you secure a remote position as a data analyst or something similar (and adequately demonstrate your ability to keep it), we’ll graduate you to the rank of Officer and you can start to seriously think about job stacking. And that’s when the real fun begins.
